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Memories of Work Life.

I volunteered at a hospital when I was 14 and had to transport a classmate who was in a coma to CT scan.
I transported an older gentleman with a brain injury who talked to me thinking I was his son.
I worked with a man who had snew in his blood.
I worked for a man who forced me to clean the yogurt machine.
I worked for a man who called me Gomer Pyle because I wore combat boots.
I worked with a Toy Department Manager who used to be the drummer of KC and the Sunshine Band.
I worked with a truck crew that would call me Lurch and throw hangers at me.
I worked with an Executive Director who screamed at us upon return from Fat Camp and we got the Board of Directors to fire her.
I worked with a guy who built a sweat lodge in his backyard and collected roadkill.
I worked with a woman with cigarette burns on her fingers and lips.
I worked with a schizophrenic who swore to me that her psychiatrist penetrated a slit on his assistant’s belly before her very eyes.

I once worked with a man who, when he saw me eat a dandelion, said “You don’t know whose dogs and cats be peeing on that shit”.
I worked with a CFO who embezzled 300 thousand dollars.
I worked with an autistic man who pushed me over a bush.
I worked with a man who had a henweigh on his neck.
I distributed pizza coupon flyers in Samual Sheinbein’s neighborhood the week that he dismembered and burned Freddy Tello.
I worked with a man who was a doctor in Cuba, but not in the USA.
I worked with a Nigerian man who got me addicted to bitter cola nuts.
I would stand at gas stations giving the middle finger to the sniper when filling the work van with petrol in Montgomery County.
I worked with a man who punched me in the back of the head and it knocked me down.
I worked for a woman who was an ex Black Panther Party Member.
The same woman once asked Sammy Davis Jr. if he knew who he was.
I worked with a woman who taught me it’s “non speech” not “non verbal”.
I worked with a man who’s sole responsibility on a P-Funk tour was to get Sly Stone to the stage.
I worked with a security guard who left his revolver on the back of a toilet and when he went back it was gone.
I worked with a woman who went on to stab another woman in the neck at an ATM in front of NPR.
I worked with a doctor who was obsessed with dwarfism in Ancient Egypt, Ptah and all that.
I worked with a recovering free base user turned continuing sociopath.
I worked with a woman whose sister dated Vince Gray for 20 years.

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A short history of the rise and fall of the thumb in twelve stages, aka “You Big Thumby!”

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A short history of the rise and fall of the thumb in ten stages,
aka “You Big Thumby!”

1. Thumb-sucking
2. Development and use of tools
3. Control of fire
4. Agriculture
5. Development and use of instruments of war
6. Written Documentation, control of history
7. Act 1 Scene 1 of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet – “Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?”
8. Industrial evolution
9. Mechanical evolution
10. Sissy Hankshaw, Hitchhiking, etc.
11. Development and use of joysticks
12. Texting, “LOL”, “LMAO”,and the “Big Thumbs Up!” blue facebook emoticon symbol

Everytime you click on a like, no matter where it is, an angel loses a thumb.

If you want to save the world, stop global climate warming changes, et cetera, et cetera, then we should agree to ban the thumb or promise to take a solemn vow to use your thumb for good from this point forward.

I haven’t used my thumbs for 19 hours.
Thumbs for Peace!
Brangelina says in response to the fall of this strange finger “I oppose the thumb!”

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The Boy and the Lime Wedge

photo(1) My 19 or so month old nephew who has so far amassed around 50 English words and a handful of ASL signs looked at me seriously with direct eye contact and handed me a lime wedge that he had already chewed on. I looked at the chewed up wedge and then looked back at him. Without using any actual words I am familiar with, particularly since I myself have so far only amassed 35 English words and half a handful of ASL signs, he said half with his eyes/mind and half in gibberish “Eat it. It’s good. Prevents scurvy”. When he was sure I understood, and I had placed it in my mouth, he proceeded to dump his ice water all over the table in joy. He then pointed to a pile of napkins, and when I handed him a couple, he cleaned up his mess and said “I’m gonna need that lime wedge back”.

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